On Christmas Cards and Long Friendships

Half Dome in Yosemite National Park

It is the eve of Epiphany or the Twelfth Night as this is written.  Tomorrow another holiday here with most stores closed and Christmas slowly coming to an end.  Christmas lights still glow in the windows after dark but those too will be gone on the thirteenth day of January according to custom.  That being the twentieth day after Christmas.  As the very old but still popular swedish Christmas song proclaims Christmas lasts until Easter!  Now it is time for those Fat Tuesday buns, lent and Mardi Gras.

Near the Ahwahnee Hotel in Yosemite

Time to put "Christmas away" reading and re-reading cards from  family, friends, treasured "old customers" as well as some new acquaintances we sure are glad to have so many people past and present that take the time to stay connected.  We have received phone calls and treasures such as Penny Pies truffles, fudge and that AMAZING fruitcake that her Mom provided us with when we were still at the store.  Sure glad that Penny is keeping that tradition going and can you imagine, she shipped it all the way to Sweden ;-)  Yes we feel special for sure!  Have heard from Cyndi and Steve that "our cats" Houdini and Diffy are just fine making our hearts leap a bit extra happy.......... Yep I like these written lines, the cards that one can feel, touch and convey such a sense of thought and personal feeling with envelopes having been addressed and stamps attached then ultimately delivered by a real live person.  He the mailman in our case who stops to deliver packages, scratches Ralle behind his ear and gives him a treat!

Yosemite

It is hard for me to fall in line with those who suggest that we are kinder to the environment if we don't send cards or take the money we saved on cards and stamps and gave to someone in need.  Not suggesting that if you can help someone like Leslie's Mom and Dad did by picking a family in need and providing presents from Santa for their kids, giving them a boost.

Yosemite

We still hear from Mrs. Mulholland our next door neighbor in San Jose who every year provides us with an update of the old "hood" as well as The Foppiano's  a family we spent so much time with when the children were growing up.  Co-workers from Hewlett-Packard stay in touch still,  along with friends from our own school days both David's and mine.  Added to that we have contact with the  most special people from the Oakhurst Feed days both "crew" members and customers as well as business associates and neighbors.  It is a colorful cavalcade of wonderful people from all walks of life all with their own "story" since every person is a "book" there is not a dull one in the bunch!  We treasure them all......  from Maud, John, Joe, Oscar and Marce to Corky, Russ, Emily, Geri, Paula, Brian the Sheriff and "little" Brian the Soldier,  both Anne and Cathy the artists, Tom, Jana, Nancy and Eileen just to name a few........ we feel so rich and grateful ..

Ahwahnee Hotel

Fresno river

Here are some pictures from way back when.....

Last Photos of 2011 and Garrisons Day.

Sofiero

Sofiero

From Höganäs during the last storm.

Storm

Höganäs harbor.

Helsingborg from near Hittarp

Helsingor, Denmark in the distance.

Geese in the air over Farhult.

Valhall Park in Ängelholm.

Torekov Harbor

Torekov

Torekov

Warehouse/barn in Ängelholm

Accidental Miss Kitty

Two Buddies

Closing out the year and cleaning the slate and starting a new one with the last pictures in the camera. Beautiful images of places we visit often and enjoy endlessly in the company of Ralle the patient one, who puts up with the "new addition" the silly, cute little Miss Kitty.

Today we meet another mile stone as Garrison David Quist turns TWENTY ONE!  Our tall, beautiful and talented grandchild who carries the name David forward along with Garrison of course. He "wears"  both names  well.  Happy birthday Garrison and Happy New Year to us ALL!

A Heaviness in the Air.

Cucurpe, a small town in Sonora Mexico, where I spent a lot of time.

When I left America and came to Sweden to live and experience life here I was filled with confidence and a spirit of an "I can do anything if I try hard enough" sense of being.  It is something that I have cultivated over many years growing up in Mexico and in America.

A little ranch house where I spent some time.  Some years back I took John, our son,  to see where I lived in Mexico.

Since living here for going on 4 years now I feel that it is harder to keep that confidence and spirit alive.  It is difficult to put a finger on it.  Why is this?  I have come up with some possible reasons.  Again, these are my own personal thoughts based on my experience.

The ranch with many memories. 

One reason is living here in another country where I don't speak the language, I don't know the rules, the culture is different, my immediate family and close friends are not here all contribute to this loss of spirit.  Maybe it is not lost, but it is certainly much harder to maintain.  It is akin to working without a "safety net".  This is to be expected in this situation.  Although I was not prepared for it.  Of course, I should have known or thought about it.

My uncles' ranch where I spent many summers.

Another reason is specific to my experience here in Sweden.  There is a sense of "fear and cautiousness" that I sense and feel in many of the people here.  It is like a subtile cloud hanging in the air here over everybody.  It is this heaviness in the air that affects everyone and makes it harder to maintain this sense of confidence and "can do spirit".  It just takes more determination on the part of the individual.  It seems to me.

The main house.

There are many rules and regulations here designed to keep people, animals, the environment, etcetera, safe and to maintain uniformity.  There are also many departments of authority here that insure the rules and regulations are followed.  There are also many organizations and or unions of people.  All of these have an ombudsman to handle complaints and conflicts.   Everyone here is encouraged to have a say in all matters.  Everyone has a voice and it is very easy for people to bring complaints to the authorities.

A nearby canyon we used to go to on horseback and explore.

This has created a fear that people live with and have gotten used to.  For most it is an underlying and subtle fear in their DNA of "following the rules", "can I do that?", "is their a rule I might be breaking?", etc.

The old road we used to take to get to Cucurpe.

Some examples:  When we first moved here our neighbors were fearful that we might not like horses and that we might complain to the authorities.  I have also heard so many stories from people I know about how their neighbors complain about this and that and being reported to the authorities.  And as a result they live in fear of annoying a neighbor, breaking a rule, or doing the wrong thing.  There are classes you must take to be able to do this or that.  Students have a union.  They can report their teachers to the authorities.

Me in the foreground wearing the hat.

Suffice it say that there are many rules and laws that are there for your own good and society.  I have often seen this subtle fear or awareness of breaking a possible rule in conversations with people and or not doing something because there are too many classes to take or too many rules to be aware of.  A swede I spoke with in the park one day told me that there are so many rules here that you have to break some of them some of the time.

The grandkids in grandmas house.  I'm the kid on the couch 2nd from the right.

It is this cloud that hangs in the air here that together with the added obstacles of being in another country makes it harder to have the "can do attitude".  Books can be written and probably have about this.  There is too much to say and to many examples to go into.

My uncle Raul, his wife and 7 kids.  They lived in Cucurpe in house with a dirt floor..

Some local cowboys.

I will continue to struggle and walk the high wire without a net and make it to the other side.  "Don't look down".  What an adventure and what an experience.  It is what life is all about.  It is what makes life worth living.

My uncle stopped in a small town to buy empanadas from a little girl.

We bought all her empanadas.

The reason I decided to put these pictures of my life in Mexico here is because this experience, this life in large part has made me who I am today.  All my cousins and I at a very young age survived this life.
Playing in the dirt, riding horses often bareback, drinking milk straight from the cow, being teased and bullied by the older cousins, and more, all this we lived through.  There were no safety belts, no rules, just life.

This past is what I draw strength from in order to get through tough times or when I am feeling down or beaten.  It is just life.

Lagom.....Who decides?

"Not too much...Not too little."  Lagom is:  Just right, in moderation, in balance, "The right amount is best", "be modest and avoid extremes", "not too good, not too rich", these are just a few phrases that try to explain the meaning.

As you can see, depending on your point of view and the angle from which you view it, the meaning can be used negatively or positively.  The word is also used in everyday conversations such as:  "Oh that shirt is very lagom (fits just right) on you", etc.

The word and the concept of "Lagom" is swedish.  This concept is deeply ingrained in the swedish culture and affects many aspects of life.  For many swedes it is a source of national pride.  But, not all swedes like the concept.

I am a foreigner from America who is trying to understand this concept and all of its ramifications in this society.  These are my thoughts, my interpretations, my observations during my life here for close to 4 years now.  Much has been written and said about "Lagom".  So what I have to say is not new but maybe an affirmation of what has been said.  It is my personal experience.

My first experiences of "Lagom" made me feel uneasy.  Here are some things that were said to me, maybe not in a spiteful way, but they were not positive or uplifting remarks:  "Oh that is a big lens on your camera, do you really need that?", "My that is a big printer.  Why do you need that?", "That bright red shirt you are wearing is very obvious.", "That is a nice car you have.", "That is a very nice coat you are wearing.  It looks expensive."  Statements like these were said in everyday conversations.  And I hear these kind of things being said about other people.  And, it continues today.  I try to not be offended by it and I am getting better at it trying to live with the remarks.  It is like many people here can't help themselves from making these kind of remarks.  It seems to be in their DNA.

The concept of Lagom in one sense is to make sure that everyone is equal to everyone else in all things.  So that the gap between those that have and those that don't is not too great.  What this creates is a lot of jealousy and divisiveness as I see it.  And jealousy creates conflict.  This jealousy I hear almost every day here.  I often hear statements like this:  "Those people living in Stockholm are so snooty", "Those people living by the ocean in those fancy houses are so uppity", "people who drive those nice cars are nice on the outside but not so nice on the inside".  Inferences like this in very subtle ways are common in my experience.  I don't think that the people who are saying this realize what they are saying.  The jealousy is thick here.  This creates a sort of "class warfare" between people.  The blue collar worker and the office white collar worker.  And on and on.  Again, I must emphasize that not all swedes are like this.

I have heard many swedes talk about this "Lagom" and jealousy here.  They have the same concerns as I do.  It doesn't make anyone feel good.  It is also a topic of conversation on TV here.  My gut feeling is that 60% like "Lagom" and 40% are not in favor of it.  It affects every aspect of life here.  In school children should all be treated the same.  This does not allow students who learn quicker than others to advance quicker nor does it allow for the extra help needed by some students.  All must be treated equally and no one should be made to feel less than the other.  This carries on into the work place as well.  Praise for a job well done in school or in the work place is hard to come by.  No one person should stand out above the others.

Lagom is not always practiced by those staunch supporters of the idea.  A good example is the mobile/cell phone craze.  The mobil cell phone here is very big.  Almost everyone here must have the latest and greatest cell phone and in the wildest colors available.  Not very "Lagom".

In closing, the concept of Lagom in and of itself can be a good way to live your life.  It is similar to some Buddhist teachings.  It is a personal choice.  The problems, as I see it,  arise when society decides it should be a way of life for all.

"Lagom" ...  Who decides what is enough and what is too much?

Troll Hunting

The eerie winged monsters on our way to the forest was an omen of things to come.

Today we decided to see if we could catch a glimpse of a Troll in a forest known to be inhabited by the elusive beast.

We were getting closer.  

As we entered the area of known Troll sightings the hairs on the back of our necks and on our forearms began to stand up and immediately began to give us the shivers.  I was beginning to wonder if this was a good idea.

We caught a glimpse of something or someone heading away from us as if they were trying to get away.

The mist in the air began to feel heavier and heavier.  It was a good thing we had Ralle with us.  He could sense if there was anyone lurking nearby and could warn us of any danger.  I was beginning to get clammy and I felt as if something was trying to suck the life out of us.  I have heard that the Trolls had special powers and could easily overpower us with their ability to wrap their prey in an envelope of thick heavy mist not unlike the sticky web of a spider.

I sent Neta and Ralle up ahead to scout around first.

I took up the rear where I could warn them of any ambush that they may encounter.  I was also in a vulnerable position.

We walked deeper and deeper into the Trolls realm.

Ralle caught the smell of something.

Then up ahead I noticed that Ralle had caught the scent of something.  I began to run ahead and as I got closer a strong stench overcame me.  A smell so putrid that I almost fainted.  It was, as I was told later, the distinctive odor of Trolls.

I thought that maybe we should abandon the search and come back some other time with reinforcements.  One cannot be too careful.  So I got Neta and Ralle and humped it back out of the deep forest.

The Ghost.

On our way back we could see in the distance what appeared to be a woman.  We were glad to see another human being.  But then as we got closer the woman became more and more transparent.  And as we reached the bend in the road she completely disappeared into the mist like a heavy cloud,  We were so scared that we ran back to the car.

It was an adventure that we would never forget.  We will return again someday after we regained our courage.