Not Settled and Not Settling

Hollister Foothills

Having the privilege to live here in Hollister with my husband Don David, my giant dog, and a cute cat in my daughters house is awesome.  I am able to putter and cook as I please.  Planning our meals, shopping, doing all the regular everyday chores, walking the dogs, reading my books and just "being".  Yet I do not feel settled.  There is no cocoon wrapped around me.  That feeling of snuggling into my own space, my own place.  Presently I keep waiting for whatever is to come next.  It would seem that at this stage of my life I should be rocking on a porch feeling satisfied, but NO.  I still do not know what I want to do when I "grow up", I still really do not know WHERE I belong or where I want to be.  Should I not be grown up enough to know?  Sometimes I don't even know if I WANT to grow up.

Maria & Family

Maria & Linnea in Carmel

We keep looking for a place to buy.  None of the homes we have looked at seem right.  The real estate market is crazy with few homes FOR SALE.  Most of the properties are either a short sale or a bank owned house.  Both presenting its own set of difficulties.  Long long waiting periods as to our knowing if the house would be ours or not.  We have placed bids on three homes so far.  We have not managed to win either.  I say win as it truly seems like it is a lottery.  The banks dribble out homes in our price range in a desire to not flood the market and in a desire to drive prices back up.  Regular "normal" sales are seemingly non existent as most people are holding on to their homes even if they need to sell hoping the value will again climb upwards.  Not that I blame them.

Seattle

Each property we have viewed and we have looked at many have shortcomings.  Many properties have been severely damaged by disgruntled homeowners.  Never in my life had I seen homes for sale in such horrid conditions.  Dirty, damaged and shoddy.  Whatever happened to "home styling" and putting your home in a desirable condition.  Forget all of that unless there is a "normal" sale.

John in Seattle

Another issue for me is where do I want to be?

Hermosa Beach in LA

High School friends in LA

For me the nearness to my daughter is so important yet there is nothing else compelling or desirable about just this town.

Fred & his Family in Torrance

Saga & Tipster

Seattle seems to be calling one minute.  The other day I wanted to be in Bellingham.  There are days I want to be in Southern California near that now front toothless little cute family member who, along with her younger brother now have a new puppy!

Mariposa

Why oh why am I having such a hard time deciding?  Why oh why cant I just make up my mind?